Israel 0 England, inventors of football 0

Another disappointing England game. It's the standard we have come to expect. The most animated I was during the course of the game was towards the end when Defoe 'scored' but was ruled offside (textbook trait) and I used a tomato ketchup bottle along with a tub of mayonnaise and a empty bottle of beer to explain the offside rule to my anti-football girlfriend. She sat there nodding her head and saying 'Yeah...Mmmm...ok' giving me the rather pathetic illusion that she understood what I was mumbling on about.

I pretend, just for a moment that she did. But steady on....a girl who understands the offside rule? That's proper marriage material right there. Which is why I quickly diverted the conversation away from offsides to what England have to do to qualify.

"It's a big grim then?" She said. Oh yes. Its fucking grim alright. No tactical awareness. No game plan. No adapting to the opposition. There's no point in me wasting your time (and mine) chatting about formations and team selections. Its been said a million times before. Instead, I'm gonna laugh at McClaren.

"An absolute load of rubbish" - He must have said this 5 times in the space of 2 minutes when interviewed about an alleged falling out with Rooney and El Tel. I must have said it 150 times in the space of 90 or so minutes the other night.

McClaren is Mr Average Football Manager. That's why we have a average team giving average peformances.

Andorra up next. Surely nothing less than 5-0 will appease us?



~Spooky