Its only a game! (part III)

So, where was I? Oh right, yeah.....time to patronise.

1) THE GAME ISN'T AS GOOD AS IT USE TO BE

What a load of bollocks. That’s like remembering how much fun you had on your Spectrum 48k back in the old days and claiming its better than the games you have on your uber-high-spec-pc at present. Retro is kitsch, not better. To claim that you prefer the text commentary over the 2D match engine is quite simply ludicrous. It’s like preferring to use a bonfire rather than install central heating in your house.

2) IT’S UNPLAYABLE OUT OF THE BOX!! TOO MANY BUGS!!

This is quintessentially the most recycled comment made on the SI Forums. ‘Hundreds’ of people (who obviously spend more time complaining online than actually playing the game) claim they have wasted their money and state the game is unplayable out of the box – usually 2 days after buying and installing it.

“Far too many bugs”

“I’m going back to CM XX till SI sort it out!”

“Why do I bother?”

“When’s the patch out?”

Yes. The game is unplayable because a reserve player in the Bulgarian second division has a mis-spelt name.

Now, to avoid coming across as someone paid by SI to hype the game, I will admit that the game does have ‘bugs’. But to deem the game unplayable is touching upon extreme geekdom. It’s the nature of development. Most software releases are bugged. And patches are released to fix them. I’ll avoid talking about ‘Windows’ and just concentrate on games. Most releases I have purchased have had to be patched up. Whether its due to the publishers wanting a game out before testing is 100% complete or not, the fact is SI ALWAYS release a patch which also improves key elements of the game along with fixing those alleged ‘showstoppers’ people cry about.

It’s almost like the users are personally offended if the game has a bug in it. They then manage to delude themselves into believing they can’t play the game because of this bug. They are told it will be fixed, but they then complain about how SI dare release a game with the bug.

What’s ironic is, SI sell millions of copies and it’s just a small, tiny minority that make up the members of the SI Forum and a minority of these people bitch and complain about everything and anything. And why? Read number 3.

3) THE GAME IS TOO SLOW!!

No, the game isn't too slow. Your pc is a crock of shit. Buy a new processor and some RAM you cheap skate.

4) I CANT WIN – THE GAME IS UNREALISTIC!! MY TACTICS DON’T WORK!! THE GAME MUST BE BUGGED!

More ‘bugs’. FM moaners complain when they can’t win more than two games on the trot and blame the game engine for being unrealistic.

“I change my tactics every other game, and I still can’t win! The game is flawed!”

So, you change your tactics every other game? That’s probably why you cant win then you idiot. Do managers in real life fuck around as much as that? Of course not, cause if they did tinker to that extent, they wouldn’t win any games or establish any kind of consistency. Ooh look…..FM *is* realistic afterall.

Seems that FM users lack patience much like everyone involved in football. They have utterly outrageous expectations and want everything NOW NOW NOW, when that’s simply not viable.

Users then spend their time downloading other peoples ‘super tactics’ and scream abuse when the formation fails to bring them any success.

Here’s a thought: If you bought Total War: Medieval II – would you ask your mate to come round and build you an army and empire and defeat all the other clans? Of course not, cause if he did, then what’s the point of you playing the game? That would lack the personal satisfaction gained from actually achieving something.

It seems that FM users are fine to question and slate SI Games development, but don’t even attempt to play the game properly. Or they just edit the data and cheat.

5) I’VE HAD IT WITH THIS GAME / THIS IS THE LAST FM GAME I WILL EVER BUY / I WANT MY MONEY BACK / SI HAVE CHEATED US

Cheated you? Without SI we wouldn’t have a decent football management game on the market. I read on the SI forum once that SI need someone to put a game together to compete with them to give them some competition. Well, erm, they don’t need competition. They love what they do and they have at no point ever got lazy about it. To claim the game is ‘RUBBISH’ because you can’t guide Watford to the Premiership after one season is just plain silly.

And here’s the thing. Some people find the game easy and slate SI, others find it too hard, and slate SI. But rather than plug away at it – they claim the game is flawed and give up. They shout for patches. Wonderful logic. Just wonderful.

Still, claiming they will never buy the game again and yet still post and lurk on the forum says it all. Too many users have this illusion of what the perfect football management game should be like and actually think its within the realms of possibility that SI can match - EXACTLY - in every detail a true replica of the real game.

Me personal fav is people who complain about 'HOW UNREALISTIC IS IT THAT XXXX BOUGHT XXXXXX FOR £31m!! SI SORT OUT THE AI!'

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight. So, its unrealistic for the game AI to generate certain in-game transfers, but its not unrealistic that you (some nerd from the suburb) is the manager of Manchester United.

6) ‘WHAT I WANT IN THE NEXT VERSION OF FM’ THREADS (posted a week after the latest version is released)

With each yearly release, SI add new features and improve older ones. It’s obvious that the game will be EPIC in years to come. Of course, you will still get people complaining there’s now too many features in it. But I digress…

FM users are so engrossed and obsessed with the fact SI developers are always on the forum they forget the simple fact that FM *is* a game and it’s a privilege to have it in our lives.

It’s not a simulation because that’s impossible to re-create. It simply does its best, in the most entertaining way to be a sort-of-simulation that has a fine balanced element of what its like being a coach. It’s a football management game. It’s never ever gonna be perfect. Yes, there, I said it. SI have not released a perfect game. But the fact is, a game that makes you jump up and down or feel genuinely angry or happy is a game that works.

There’s not too much more I can say. Well, actually there is. But all this writing is cutting into my FM time and I’d rather concentrate on taking out revenge on Barca than slate the SI forum negativity-minions any further.

I’ll conclude by saying this:

- Be constructive in your criticism

- Be realistic in your criticism

SI do need us to feedback to them. That’s exactly how the game grows. SI are dependent on us. Otherwise they wouldn't sell any copies. The fact they do sell one or two says a lot. But don’t treat the game like the be all and end all of everything. Yes, its a religion. But it’s also just a game. A damn good one, but still…a game. And until I play one that beats it no anti-SI/FM bullshit will make me change my mind.

The End.


~Spooky




ALL THREE PARTS HERE